Whether BPD is it?
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), also known as “Gangguan Kepribadian Ambang”, is a mental disorder characterized by difficulty regulating emotions. It affects the way a person thinks and feels about themselves and others which in turn affects the way you relate to others and the way you behave.
Symptoms of BPD include:
• Fear of abandonment
• The relationship is not stable
• Self-image is not clear or to shift
• The behavior of impulsive and destructive
• Injure yourself
• The changes of the emotions that extreme
• A feeling of emptiness chronic
• Anger is explosive
• Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality
BPD can be caused by several factors including:
1. A history of personality disorder family
2. Factors of the brain (can have structural and functional changes in the brain)
3. Environmental factors, culture, and social (life events as traumatic as the abuse and neglect)
Although difficult, it does not mean BPD can’t be treated. BPD especially can be treated through psychotherapy. One type of the most common therapy for BPD is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). DBT was originally developed to deal with BPD in particular and the method includes controlling intense emotions, reduce self-destructive behavior, and improve relationships and is targeting every pain point / point problems BPD. The drug, though not the way the main treatment for BPD, can also be an option to help cope with the mood swings extreme, depression, and other mental illness that occur simultaneously.
Why is it important to understand?
With the increasing number of people are opening up about their journey with mental disorders. However, often the discussions are popping up still not accurate and is a lot of myths that contrary to the fact in conjunction with the romanticization of BPD (more about romanticizing here). Here are some of the myths and stigma about BPD that we argued:
• Manipulative and search attention: In fact, they may feel scared, vulnerable, and insecure and trying to meet their needs in a way that they know.
• Personality defect or bad: Each person has personality, meaning that they have a unique way to connect with themselves, with others and with the world. People who live with BPD can feel a lot of pressure in their personal and social lives.
• They are dangerous: People who live with BPD are much more likely to hurt yourself than to hurt others. Indeed people with BPD can experience a period of angry explode. One of the main diagnostic criteria for BPD is the level of anger that is not reasonable. This anger does not mean they become a threat to other people.
How to respond to and help?
Now you have get the facts to better understand BPD fully, here are a few clues that can help in response to the people you love are struggling with BPD and what you can do to help:
• Listen actively and sympathetic: Avoid or remove various distraction while talking with them.
• Try to make the person feel heard: Don’t show how you feel that he is wrong, try to win the argument, or cancel their feelings, even when what they say is not rational.
• Do your best to remain calm, even when survivors of BPD acting: Avoid being defensive when faced with accusations and criticism, ignore the feeling of not fair because by defending yourself will only make them angrier. Go if you need to give yourself time and space to calm down.
• Divert attention when their emotions rose: Try to encourage them to exercise, drinking hot tea, listening to music. Better yet, offer to do this with them!
• Understand it’s not their fault: Remember that they have no control. This condition is characterized by a lack of regulation, or control, over emotions, thoughts, and behavior. You wouldn’t blame a loved one for having symptoms of cancer that may have spread to everyday life, so don’t blame someone for having a mental illness with active symptoms.
• Apply restrictions which are healthy and take care of yourself: one of the most effective ways to help survivors of BPD is to get control over their behavior by setting and enforcing limits or boundaries that are healthy. However, setting limits is miraculous for a relationship. In fact, maybe at first it will get worse before it gets better. People with BPD fear of being rejected and sensitive to anything that we might take for granted.
Here are a few things that should and should not be done:
1. Do: make sure they calmly when setting limits. Say something like, “I love you and I want our relationship to work out, but I can’t cope with the stress caused by the behavior of you.”
2. Don’t: Tolerance of abusive behavior. No one must put up with verbal abuse or physical violence. Just because their behavior is a result of a personality disorder, it does not make the behavior becomes less real or less damage.
3. Don’t: Allow the person with BPD to protect them from the consequences of their actions. If the person you love does not respect the boundaries you and continue to make you feel insecure, you may need to go. This does not mean you don’t love them, but care of yourself should always be a priority.
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